He was huge. As this first-timer to our community dinner walked in I was wary. Tall, big and with long purple hair. I wondered what I would do if there was trouble. He also did some unexpected things like open up his duffle bag and sort out his stuff (including a sleeping bag). He also sat cross-legged on the floor and not at a table. He stayed on the floor when the meal started. I decided to engage him. I asked if he would like to sit at a table to eat or if he would like me to bring him a plate of food. In a soft, kind voice he accepted the offer for a plate of food. After I brought it he asked if I he could tell me a joke. Of course I said yes and it was both clean and funny. (Why do tennis pros make bad spouses? Because they don’t want to have “love”.) As the evening progressed we chatted a few times. He thanked me when he left. Appearance can be deceiving.